Split Family

kitah

' omq that is so hurtful ! your husband should forgive your daughter . no matter what she said or what she did , he should always know that she is his daughter an that she loves him no matter what happens between them ! your daughter forgive's her dad , but she is waiting for the right moment when her dad is ready too talk too her an forgive . hopefully he forgives and forget , cause life is too short too waste !

x

dolphin3

life is too short, i am not overly religious but maybe at christmas people should be civilised , stop being angry , make peace.
i met a great guy who isn't allowed to see his kids and it was very hard for him this week, no presents no cards no contact with his children who are also not allowed to contact his mum. she still has their photos on her table and would love to see them.
i think everybody involved should think of the children first and do what is best for them

sherri

Yeah... get out of the middle!

Don' t carry messages between them, don't take sides, and most of all, don't feel sorry for either of them because of what they are missing out of due to this ridiculous feud. Regardless of what the original argument was about, or who was at originally at fault, after 12 months it is no longer about all that...not with it's original fire anyway.

Not easy sometimes I am sure! - but unless you get out of the middle, all that is happening is that you are feeling bad, carrying the load, and maybe even enabling the situation to continue.

If your husband chooses to allow his pride to keep him from spending time with this grandchild, then it is wholly his choice, and he can't blame anyone else but himself, ....it's his loss, and only his. (Your grandchild won't miss what he/she has never had).

Meanwhile, you just enjoy your grandchild for all that is worth and leave these two to work it out themselves (or not, as the case may be).

Pookie

Unless the argument was over something totally unforgivable - tell your husband to be the "bigger person" and mend the rift. Tell him to ask himself how he would react or how he'd feel if something happened to his daughter and he never got to say "lets forgive & forget?".....

Geanina

Hi there,don't know what to say, i have had this same issue between my husband and his father.So what I decided to do was talk to my husband about it.I sat down one night and said- You know your father is getting old,and you know he wont give in.Don't you thinck it would be better for you to go talk to him? What if he dies? How would you feel about it all??
This made him go and make up. It was very easy.

david

who is the stubborn one.not talking to family members can be tortuos to some families.something really awful must have happened for this to occur

mazrkhan

Hmm... You got to talk to your husband and daughter...

Life is too short for enemity

Anonymous

That is really sad for you. It must be hard to sit and see this happen. Life is too short for bitterness. Too often I ahve seen bitterness like this then one of the parties passes away and there is never a chance to say sorry or tell each other that though they have this anger deep down there is love. I thin kthe suggestion already given about speaking to both of them individually is a good idea. I really hope they both see reason before it is too late.

cassie

My family is in this situation. My Husband and his father have not spoken in six years. My Mother-in-Law stills visits us and when we are in her area, she comes to meet us. She attends all the school functions by herself. It is better that the Grandfather is out of my Husbands life. My daughter is 10 and does want to know why she does not see Grandad and her cousins do. We have explained that it is nothing to do with her, but between her father and Grandad. She seems happy enought with this. When she is older it will be explained. So if they don't mend the rift. Enjoy your grandchild, be there whenever you can, tell your husband what he is missing out on, have photos around and play video's. Ignore the Adults and have fun with the Child, because as my mother told me, it is not long before they don't want to know you. (her eldest grandchild is 16 - and Nan is no longer cool)

rodney2518

Hi Mumsy,
I think you should speak to both of them individually explaining how you feel about the situation and that you are not choosing sides, and that they are both adults as well as father and daughter. Your Grandchild is innocent of all this and if they can't resolute their feelings towards each other, they atleast should show each other respect and agree to disagree, and enjoy your Grandchild which they both have a responsibility to!
Goodluck and remind them that life is too short, and before you know it, your Grandchild has become a young adult.

rodney2518

Hi Mumsy,
I think you should speak to both of them individually explaining how you feel about the situation and that you are not choosing sides, and that they are both adults as well as father...

Hi Mumsy,
I had a few suggestions for you on your family predicament, and I was wondering if things have gone better for you!

solstice

Hi Mumsy,
I think you should speak to both of them individually explaining how you feel about the situation and that you are not choosing sides, and that they are both adults as well as father...

I have been in this situation and still have some really bad feelings towards my son and his then partner, they scammed myself and many members of both families out of a considerable amount of money supposedly for treatment for Cancer that was as fake as their lies. I havent seen any of my grandchildren or spoken to my son after we found out that he was lying to us all, yes i am dissapointed and hurt but i gave so much and had my heart ripped out and spat on that its hard to forgive. I doubt that any talking will fix the rift so just have the grand child spend time with the old fella he will change in time i am sure