Party Invitatons
Posted by: moonchild
2nd Oct 2013 10:19am
How do you feel about being invited to birthday parties where your asked to pay for your own entrance to the venue or the movies or anything similar even bucks nights you have to pay to go. I for one dont get me wrong i do understand that some people cant afford to invite everyone and pay for them but i for instance had a 18th and paid for everything including food entertainment and all i couldnt afford it either but we cut back a few people saved up and paid for it for me that is how it should be you invite you pay but it seems these days even this has changed the guests pay for themselves it is ashamed but what else is new things are changing. What do you think is it ok to get your guests to pay for thier invite or not
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Comments 27
Anonymous
I think that putting up that bar for people to limbo under is too assuming, and not inclusive. Just the energy of that expectation, for the guests to pay their own way, dissolves the authenticity of a celebration...we can't just get together, under one roof, and enjoy our time...there is a price for that. Money always complicates the purest joys in life, so when it comes to things like parties and celebrations, I would prefer a gathering at a friends house, with music, food, drinks, and our free time. Forget the price tag.
Anonymous
I don't mind paying for entrance or other fees as long as it's something I want to do, if not I probably won't attend the party.
I think one should be considerate and try not to organise parties that would require guests to pay entry fees for themselves.
It is way too expensive to provide food & beverages for each person you invite.
Providing a first drink upon arrival is more than enough.
So in conclusion if you are not willing to pay entry-fees for everyone, dont have a cover charge at your party or You could pay for close friends you really want at the party.
noodles44
I think it is wrong to expect family and friends to pay to come to a birthday party, ok maybe drinks but not food, people tend to not go when they are asked to pay for things, and it is not enjoyable for anyone
Dora
Hi
I totally agree with you. If someone "Invites" you to somehting, you should not need to pay. If you pay then how is it an "invitation"? Worse still i once got invited to a wedding, and went out of my way since the bride told me she is having a small select group of people in a nice location. So I bought a brand new gown to wear. Then at the end of the reception, the bestman goes around from table to table colleting $50 each to pay for the wedding. I was horrified.
Sil sil
I've always been raised to host a birthday party or event & pay for it as I'm inviting people. Not sure how it all started but the trend is now invite & ask to pay. The problem is when the birthday person choses somewhere very expensive & your group then split the cost of the birthday person to shout them as it's their special day. I never did accept an invite from that person again. Do you still take a gift?
Shayna
I think it's fine to be invited to parties where you're expected to pay. If I can't afford to pay for it, it just takes a nice message to the party-holder explaining why I can't go, or else saying that I can't join them for a certain part of the party, but will join in a no-cost part of the event (e.g. if they're going out for dinner before heading back to their house). In the past, I've held birthday dinners (at reasonably priced restaurants), and simply asked people to refrain from giving presents as they will have to pay for their own meal. I think for big parties, such as 21sts, it's nice to supply a tab and some food for guests, with the condition that once the tab is up they buy their own drinks.
Anonymous
I think that it comes down to individual situations. In the last year several of my friends have had weddings overseas and expected everyone -including the bridal party- to pay their own way there, I think that's unfair, especially if someone asks you to be a bridesmaid in Hawaii and wont help pay your way, regardless of your circumstances.
I think if you are holding a party you don't think your friends can easily afford, you pay for them, or say no gifts or similar.
Anonymous
I think if you invite people then you are expected to pay, as they will be bringing you a gift. if cost is an issue then you should limit the number of guests or have a simple party at home as a family event.
Dani1992
I think on occasion particularly bucks night parties it is appropriate that guests pay - You should just cut back expenses in most cases though so you can afford to have the party and not expect to be compensated by your guests :)
Amywalker21
I feel obliged to go either way. But I feel like if you have tight funds and can't make it, the person of which invited you could feel quite disappointed. I prefer to not have to pay a cover charge. I also do not like to disappoint people
Anonymous
I think the expectations of paying for your own party including room hire, food, drink, decor and all the other little things is getting a bit out of hand. There's enough cost in getting yourself ready for your own party let alone looking after everyone else. I have known of people who have cut down numbers due to the expenses and that really shouldn't be necessary. I know it's a tradition to pay for most things, but with todays economy i just don't believe it to be realistic.
angry mum
In my opinion, if you get invited to a birthday party for instance then the guest should pay otherwise its not an invitation is it
Dragi
Simple, I would not make anyone pay and I don't expect to pay. That's my opinion.
PGS
Been to a couple - can't say it makes them more enjoyable. More often than not I will decline, especially if the place is one of the over-priced theme restaurants whey you pay a lot & get little.
My wife's 50th I did at an RSL club's buffet. It cost me about $400 for the 20 people's meals. They paid for their drinks & kids if they brought them. I only paid for the adults meals (some of them have 4+ kids).
My 50th was a huge meal. Mrs was away, so I had dinner alone. I am not a party person.
Rhonnie
I think it is perfectly okay. These sorts of things have always happened with different groups within a society. You usually don't give gifts in that instance. Isn't it better to celebrate an occasion with your friend in any way you can without that friend experiencing financial hardship by having to pay for everyone?
Kessa1959
It depends.
We have been to a few birthday celebrations at different venues where the invite has asked for no presents but if we could please pay for our meal which has been fine as I would prefer to celebrate special occasions with friends rather than them not be able to have a get together. The venues chosen haven't been expensive and everyone has had a terrific time.
Other times we ourselves have hosted either morning or afternoon teas for our parent's 'age' birthdays as we know that their friends are on pensions and can't afford anything expensive and our family can't afford to host expensive parties. This has been a lovely alternative though as we make special sandwiches, cakes and other treats.
Once we were annoyed though to be invited to an expensive restaurant and then were asked to split the bill after some of the others had ordered expensive wines & ports and meals whereas my husband and I don't drink and kept our meal cost to a reasonable price. We said NO and gave the money we had spent on our meals plus an additional $20 as a goodwill gesture and then excused ourselves and left. Another couple actually followed our lead and did the same.
Dragi
Simple, all birthdays I organise and don't expect people to pay anything. So I expect the same in return.
Anonymous
I agree! On your birthdays you are inviting others to help you celebrate, therefore it is up to you to pay for everything to do with the celebration. You are responsible all of the costs, it it's going to the movies or a restaurant or whatever. If a guest offers to pay part or all of the cost then you can accept gracefully and gratefully. To expect a guest to pay for being invited is actually rude and discourteous!
asifesha
like it
flower52
I think it is OK if it keeps the cost down to what your friends can afford. If i couldn't go because of money i would decline easy as that. These days there are quite a few places that have buffets on that it is a fixed price that would be OK also you wouldn't feel out of place if you couldn't afford the food they were eating.
Lollipops
I recently attended a similar type of party I suppose it depends on which way you look at it though,but I couldn't agree more...you pay for everything and then you'd feel like a slouch if you didn't bring a gift for them too...even if it ends up eating away at your funds every time (if you only have a weekend job like me, also dependant on how many parties you attend)though having your guests pay for their own drinks is something I'd consider acceptable-wise even...you control the alcohol at a party(people aren't really going to want to dosh out tons of cash just for alcohol so there you have it...
horn
If you can't afford inviting some people over to celebrate your birthday then you shouldn't have a party. If you cut back and just have a quite affair you will probably have valued friends instead of hang ons.
annacathryn
I think it's absolutely fine. After all, I would be getting a nice meal/experience out of it too. If I couldn't afford it then I would just politely decline.
tidee
If cost is an issue then maybe the event should be organised as cheap as possible then pool the money
kimmaree84
I hate being obligated to things where I have to pay a certain amount. I'm not working at the moment due to having to move towns because of my husband's work - a lot harder to find a job here...so finances are always a consideration. I think if someone invites you somewhere they should cover costs, or at least be understanding if you can't make it because of the expense!
Carol-Lee
I have mixed views on this. When I celebrated my 40th the guests were all close friends and they paid $35 p/p and I provided the wine for dinner. I couldn't afford to host a birthday party having just separated from my husband. I was thoughtful when my friends budget when selecting a restaurant.
On the other hand I have been invited to celebrate birthdays and asked to pay up to $150 p/p which included three courses and drinks for 5 hours. But when it is a birthday celebration you are also expected to give a present. This becomes a very expensive celebration.
Beanie69
I don't think people should have to pay for their invite. Just limit the numbers. However, I have been to a few hens nights and have chipped in for the stripper which seems to be the norm.