Pregnancy & Parenting

Oh no - I've turned into my mum...

Pregnancy & Parenting

Posted by: Anonymous

9th Nov 2007 02:40pm

Now that you are a mum, are there things that you do that your mum used to do?

I do - mine is, that when I tell my child off I use his full first name and surname. What do you do?


Comments 71

Amerikiwi
  • 20th Feb 2011 01:13pm

Spit on the tissue, yup guilty of that. but most common thing i found i've uttered many of the same words mum would use on me. i chringe at this all the time , but hearing from co workers of geez, your daughter looks like a mini you...is something we both are sick of hearing LOL

Contentment
  • 16th Feb 2011 11:23am

When Mum was angry she used to call myself and my two brothers all of our first names in a row. We used to think it was funny. I now find myself doing exactly the same thing.

witch13056
  • 13th Mar 2010 10:51pm

When we were kids our Mum used to love Op shopping I suppose with 5 kids under 10 in the mid sixties she had to do something to clothe us, My sister and I were mortified and embarrassed, now we are the 1st in the op shops looking for that bargain

skinny
  • 2nd Mar 2009 04:28pm

Tends to be the opposite with me, because me mum was horrible to me, I tend to remember thingz like her interfering with my marriage which to her disgust is still succeeding. I remember other trouble put downs etc. & dropped her from my life. When my hair started to get a bit of curl in it like hers I went out & bought hair straightners etc & make sure my hair is always as straight & coloured so I have no resemblance to her

gaycadd
  • 26th Feb 2009 01:39pm

I love my Mum but I try not to do anything she did. If I find myself going to do or say anything like Mum I stop myself immediately.

Goulah
  • 16th Oct 2008 02:34am

Every so often, out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think "my god I look like mum". I know she was a fair bit older than me in comparison and that I am about twice her size but she kindly gave me her wide hips, her long eyelashes and her total inability to put up with rude people.

Sometimes my sister - who is a few years my senior - looks at me, laughs and says "yes mum".

Coll
  • 26th Feb 2009 01:10pm
Every so often, out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think "my god I look like mum". I know she was a fair bit older than me in comparison and that I am...

As I get older, I tend to look & sound more like my mother, much to my dad's amusement.
I come out with sayings that mum used on us when we were kids.
Dad has a great laugh !!!

Che' baby
  • 29th Aug 2008 09:49pm

It's soooo lovely to hear you young mums tell us older mums that we really did do the right thing!...As you ALL know...we only do the very best we can for our children and hope and pray it is good enough. THANK YOU LADIES! from all us 'Older' mum's...KEEP PASSING IT ON AND NEVER GIVE UP!!!

halle
  • 29th Aug 2008 07:39am

I catch myself sounding like my Mum (using her sayings)... ... aaaah! Love her to bits but I guess you just don't want to sound like her.

pebbles
  • 29th Aug 2008 07:15pm
I catch myself sounding like my Mum (using her sayings)... ... aaaah! Love her to bits but I guess you just don't want to sound like her.

I'm sure i sounded like my mum at one time or another and said things that she said but my favourite one line would have to be listen you lot just remember "i brought you into this world and i will take you out" I dont know where it came from but it was most effective in getting their attention.. Mine are all grown up now but i still use the first , middle and last name with empfasis when they do some thing that i have reservations about, i suppose even when we are older we like to discipline our progeny.

Moose 3:16
  • 23rd Aug 2008 01:39pm

I can't believe how I talk to my daughter. It's the same words I heard when I was growing up. I think I was worse behaved than my daughter though. I now feel sorry for my mum.

kjaramindi
  • 14th Aug 2008 07:53pm

Its funny how as children we vow to raise our own children differently than we were raised. I think the most important thing to remember is to take all the positive things our parents did and leave all the negative stuff behind. Sometimes we do revert to some of our parent behaviour that we hated, but I think if we can recognise it when we do it, you're most of the way there in correcting it. None of us are perfect parents but if we give it our best that is all we can ask from ourselves. Remember to smile be happy, enjoy your kids and tell them you love them. :-)

dazali35
  • 30th Jul 2008 12:58pm

I look like my mum i do things like my mum all the time i even here her voice in my voice. Now being a mum u can understand what mum went through bringing up you. I remember my mum saying to me wait until your a mum then u understand i say the same thing to my children today. Cant wait until your a mum so u will understand. I may do lots of things that my mum did growing up but i also am a complete opposite to my mum more relaxed person.

Kirst
  • 26th Jul 2008 09:55am

I do differently, I learnt lots of things from the mum. The main one is that I put my son on the kitchen bench when I am cooking, so he will want to learn to cook and help me. I think it's important that both sexies learn to cook.

Anonymous
  • 25th Jul 2008 06:49pm

I've found my family tends to do the complete opposite to the generation before! Mum was obsessive with the housework.. I let it go to pot on the weekends ( I usually have half the neighbourhood kids and nieces and nephews over). Mum wrote a "to do" list for every day which she followed religiously- I don't even write a shopping list! I send my kids outside to play in the dirt, I played in mud once in my entire childhood! Don't get me wrong, I love my mum- she's fantastic and I wouldn't have the great life I enjoy if it wasn't for her teachings, but I'm my Grandmother all over. My eldest daughter, on the other hand, is just like my Mum! Does anyone find that instead?

JNel
  • 23rd Jul 2008 05:19pm

I mix up my son and hubby's names when I'm frustrated - Mum used to mix my sister and me up

Anonymous
  • 22nd Jun 2008 03:57am

i find myself saying things like no running on the concrete and i can tell when your lying -my dad all over

Hels
  • 15th Jun 2008 10:46pm

I'm glad I've turned into my mum. She used to spend ages playing with us and sometimes didn't get out of her PJs till lunch time. The beds often went unmade but we use to paint and glue( collage) and play-do and dress up. I love doing these things. I just wish I didn't have to go to work so we could do this every day. I've also learnt patience like my mum. I remember when I was a teenager and mum would just keep quiet while I was seething with anger. Now I'm a mum it's often easier to keep quiet and just speak up when something really needs to be said, rather than being impulsive.

junlover
  • 15th Jun 2008 08:26pm

My mum is a road rageaholic - and almost honks the horn at every light/intersection since ive got my P's i get extremly frustrated with people that hold up traffic and in the habbit of hitting the horn, its getting worst!

Ness
  • 13th Jun 2008 05:58pm

i would never yell at my kids, but these days yelling is the only way they will listen to me. And I never give my kids toys and lollies just for nothing. They have to learn them or not even ask. A important thing my mum always did and I will keep doing is spoil my kids with lots of love.

matalemu
  • 11th Jun 2008 07:28pm

I find myself using the same phrases that my mum used every so often.
But when I do, I just say to my son "Stop it! You're turning me into my Mother".
That usually snaps both of us out of it! LOL

traceyd
  • 5th Jun 2008 07:18am

In some ways I have, definitely, in others, no. As the years have gone by, I find my mother and I role reversing, she's getting mellow while I get tougher. My eldest son ( 23 ) says I " can freeze blood from 100 yards" . I must look in the mirror one day to check! Calling the kids by their full name when i'm angry, yes, "spit and lick " when they were dirty, NO! How I detested that when I was young!!! can't think of much more, I'm sure my kids could though!

Mumma Campboli
  • 4th Jun 2008 05:22pm

yes I look like my mum and use her sayings, I cook like her and quite often am on the same wave length which means I call her at the same time that she is going to call me. I wait up for the kids to come home or wait for their call ot text to let me know they are safe

basha
  • 4th Jun 2008 08:59am

As i get older I look very much like my mum. mum just had to give me that look if i did some thing wrong, i do the same to my children.

ladybird
  • 4th Jun 2008 06:56am

I'm so much like my mum it's scary, and my children have the same reactions I did. "I don't care what other parents do, you can't do what you want all the time" and my kids roll get cranky and tell me it's not fair. I even look like my mum now (now that's sad lol!)

maca
  • 12th May 2008 01:04pm

This happens to us all - I am nearly 70 and I look into the mirror sometimes and I see my Mum, the other day I attended the Primary School where my grandsons attend for the Grandparent afternoon, sat on the seat near my youngest grandchild and was speaking to him when this little lass said to me that I spoke like my grandsons mother -s it happens all the time -fortunately something lovely that cannot be changed.

Amy
  • 9th May 2008 12:10pm

I have to agree. I use my childs full name as well. Other things i hated my mother doing, i find that i do the same. Pretty scarey on my behalf because a lot of things she did i hated.

Dani*
  • 7th May 2008 08:58pm

Lol I always said I would offer my children a good variety of healthy foods so she wouldnt be fussy, mum always taught us to at least try everything, now I have a almost two year olds who has been offered almost every single food I can think of except just junk and oh my she is soooo fussy, almost everything is met with a "no thankyou, its yucky"

tracwy
  • 6th May 2008 08:45am

oh yes, i see this all the time now, the whole name or middle name things happens all the time. there are times i am sitting looking at the kids and feel like i am looking through my mums eyes, its really weird..

tamlyn
  • 24th Apr 2008 04:25pm

We have teenage daughters and it really shows." Why does that boy have such long hair? What is this music? Call if youre going to be late! "
When did I become my mother?

Nag and yes I call all my children by their full name !

justjocky
  • 8th Apr 2008 10:03pm

Yes I have become my mother and things that she said and did I now do and it is quite funny when you gwet pick-up on it by family members

annielou
  • 11th Mar 2008 07:24am

I definitely do and say some things that are like my mum - it used to embarrass me until I realised that she was obviously a major influence in my life so it makes sense... I'm finding that I can now understand more why she did some things - the difference is though that I can also remember how I felt as a child when she did or said and so I always take that into consideration as well. I can still have the same values and similar rules to my mother, but I do it in a more respectful way and I always acknowledge my children's feelings when they don't like what I do or say.

Anonymous
  • 6th Mar 2008 12:45pm

I can not believe it, but when our young son was playing with his dad recently I said ít's always fun till someone loses an eye'- guess who I sounded like?

pkea
  • 5th Mar 2008 07:55am

I am also guilty of sounding like my mother and for the fact that she instilled in me high moral standards, good survival skills and polite manners, well I guess it's not such a bad thing. Having said that, there are things such as yelling at my kids and smacking that shook me up as a child so I try not to be like that. There are other ways to deal out dicipline. It is okay to pick up parenting skills from our previous generation, as long as we know where to draw the line. I lacked confidance as a child and has no ambitions in life due to the parenting of my mother so I only take from her the important things and as an adult, I can now decide for myself how I should be as a parent. I am far from perfect, but one thing is for sure, my children are well mannered, ambitious, confident and caring kids.

Tal
  • 4th Mar 2008 04:51pm

i guess I have leared to respect my mum more now that I am one myself. I appreciate her push for us to learn to look after ourselves, ie house work, cooking, budgeting etc., especially as i see friends having to learn it as adults. This is something I will teach my children, I believe I am raising future adults, not 30 year old kids!! There are of cause many things I am doing different as well, my children have many more hugs and kisses than my sisters and I ever did!!!

Tal
  • 4th Mar 2008 04:49pm

i guess I have leared to respect my mum more now that I am one myself. I appreciate her push for us to learn to look after ourselves, ie house work, cooking, budgeting etc., especially as i see friends having to learn it as adults. This is something I will teach my children, I believe I am raising future adults, not 30 year old kids!! There are of cause many things I am doing different as well, my children have many more hugs and kisses than my sisters and I ever did!!!

Gill
  • 3rd Mar 2008 11:30pm

I occasionally realise that I am saying phrases that my mother said when I was young. Usually I cringe as it's when I' m losing my rag at my child/children. We have four children aged between 17 and nine. My siblings and I all live in different countries so (fortunately) I don't have to tolerate being hassled about this by them! It is becoming less and less frequent as I am not happy when I do this as (sadly) I do not respect my parents as they are inconsistent and my father used to beat me. I do not want to carry on any of their bad habits, especially yelling at my children!

I don't remember receiving much praise as a child, other than from one grandmother. Perhaps it's not as memorable as when i was in trouble. I happily use many of my grandmother's phrases.

Pistachio
  • 3rd Mar 2008 11:50am

I do some things the same,....I get frustrated when I can't find my things where they should be... (now I understand how mum felt).. hold their hand even though they are big( not in public)....not into constant cleaning, or ironing which is a little naughty .... but I also don't /didn't do things like my mum.. leaving my kids by themselves, ... knowing sort of where they are by cell phone contact.... knowing some of the new tx lingo lol...able to work the computer, tv, dvd... but funnily enough I survived and no doubt when my kids have there own they will probably pick up some of my ways.
But I have noticed that my husband and I do things a lot differently and we have to discuss things before an answer is given.
He thinks I am to lax and I think he is too Strict... go figure

heidi
  • 3rd Mar 2008 10:25am

Now I know why I frustrated my mother, because my son is now frustrating me. The same arguments are coming back to haunt me, but now I'm saying the Mum's side of the argument and getting the kids side told to me.

kate
  • 2nd Mar 2008 08:20pm

there are times when one is disciplining my childen and I can here my mothers tone in my voice.
My mother held done a fill time position when my brothers and I were growing up so mum had little time for the theatrical dramas of injuries, hence I not the most sympathetic.

Anonymous
  • 2nd Mar 2008 05:23pm

I use to wonder why my Mum always f0rgave my terrible behaviour. I was a horrible child at home. It was not until I had children of my own that irealised just what loving a child was all about.

Kirst
  • 29th Feb 2008 08:10pm

I remember my mum being hard on us, always wanting us to clean up after ourselves and now that i am a mum I am forever telling my children to clean up after themselves, put your toys/clothes/books away

Eme
  • 29th Feb 2008 03:39pm

My biggest concern is that my mum was always so busy that she didn't bother with the tantrums! Although it had good merits, sometimes when she would look at me I felt likt I was nothing more than a nuicence when the reason I was throwing the tantrum was usually to have reinforcement that she loved me. It often left me feeling unwanted and unloved. Now I find myself looking at my own daughter the same way when she throws a tantrum. I can't seem to tell her that I love her enough.

cheriale
  • 29th Feb 2008 02:43pm

My children are independent adults now but I still worry over them as my mother does for me.How they ever successfully travelled the world by themselves for years without me is an enduring mystery.

joyfulfish
  • 29th Feb 2008 01:57pm

Not that I've really noticed but our wee biy is not yet 2. I think instinctively I will do similar things but I think my mum did a fantastic job so I have big shoes to fill. :o)

Trish
  • 29th Feb 2008 01:04pm

I always thought that growing up that I would never turn into my mum meaning that I would let my kids do what every they please. Well in the middle of bringing up 4 kids I have turned into my mum and thats not a bad thing

The Governor
  • 26th Feb 2008 09:23pm

I find that sometimes I talk in the same tone of voice as her or get annoyed with my son for the same things that I did to upset her when I was a kid. I really am a lot different in my parenting style than my parents; I am more strict but I also have given my son guidelines & let him make or contribute to any decision about him so that he starts to learn how to make decisions & the consequences of making a bad decision; something I didn;t learn for a very long time after I had left home & something I have always had a "bee in my bonnet" about that my parents didn't teach me.

Leish
  • 26th Feb 2008 02:22pm

I find little things like the full name calling i do end up doing, but as i came from disfunctional parents (that really should be at aa meetings) i find that i question everything that i do and say, it can be very exhusting.
I do find that i also do things that are also like my nan as she was involved in my upbringing, that sounds very funny as you can imagine i sound very old fashioned !!

kirsty
  • 12th Feb 2008 12:07pm

My mum always put our wants first, even though she liked a dress, she would first shop for us. I have become like my mum in putting my daughter first even when it is things she wants and doesnt really need before the things I really need.
I also gained heaps of weight at the birth and have struggled like my mum to get the baby weight back off- I'm not obese but still not the right size for my bmi.

spaniel
  • 4th Feb 2008 11:00pm

every day i live now that i am a parent i see things in do are so much influenced by my mother. things i do and things i say it is scary.

moo72
  • 4th Feb 2008 06:21pm

I am a new Mum to an 11 month old and I find that I give my son 'the eye' when he does something naughty. It doesn't work - yet - but it was something that my Mum used to do and it filled me with fear of not do that action. I also play the air plane game whilst trying to get my son to eat, something my Mum did too. I also pat him to sleep, I cradle him, which is something my Mum told me to do, however it has created more problems for me now because my son won't sleep without the patting etc.

Jo
  • 22nd Jan 2008 11:39am

I used to think my Mum was submissive because of the way she did everything around the house & never asked my Dad to lift a finger & for the way she allowed him to sometimes speak to her like she was his maid. Now I understand that once you become a Mother you want things done right & fast so you do them yourself & husbands will try on occassion but they don't do it the way you like so you stop asking after a while. You also choose your battles, as they say. If you know harping on at kids & partners to help out will result in stress, arguements or unecessary frustration, again you just shut your mouth & do it yourself. I realise now, my Mother isn't submissive...she's actually stronger because she has the self control not to lose her temper or the plot. Insessant ramblings & words uttered under my breath so to vent or remind myself of things to do are not a sign of insanity...it comes with the territory of Motherhood. Proud to have turned into my Mother, the Swiss-Army-Wife.

Miranda
  • 14th Jan 2008 01:44pm

Yep - when my son is out of line, I give "The Face". It can stop rough truckies in their stride, peel paint from a wall and kill a pet stone-dead if it happens to get in the line of sight. M :o)

Ally
  • 30th Dec 2007 01:07pm

My mother and I are very similar but not in parenting. Mum's favorite saying was "Do as I say, not as I do". Whereas I try to explain and negotiate with my child. My mother says I should be tough like she was but that just made me scared of her it did not make me behave myself!

sodivine
  • 30th Dec 2007 09:06am

I did alot of things my Mum used to do,it didnt really matter about disciplin because they turned into horrible evil teenagers anyway.My Mum brought me up strict,I did the same but it was a waste of time,they grew up.Sob,sob sob.

vida
  • 24th Dec 2007 01:02pm

I can not believe I now handwash. It is faster than our washing machine for small and baby items! I swore I would always use the tools I have. I have also turned into a neat freak. Up until 2 months ago I was a slob.

shazzdan
  • 17th Dec 2007 07:27am

hi, I always thought my mum was mad to have had 5 children but i now find myself pregnant with my 5th child and seem to be like her in so many things i just wish i had more energy to cook the great meals she used to always have ready for us. What seems to be worse then doing things my mum does is i.ve found that having a 10 yr old 9 yr old 3 yr old and 9 month old and being 3 mths pregnant i.m extremely tired and short tempered and that sometimes when i yell at my older kids i could kick myself because i sound like my DAD!!!

Ru
  • 16th Dec 2007 12:09pm

Bribery! I find that although I always aid I wouldn't do it I can't help but buy a lollypop in the shops for a few moments of easier shopping!

ral
  • 15th Dec 2007 08:33am

Whenever my mother answered "maybe" I knew it was a "no" about to happen. Now I find myself answering "maybe" to stall for enough time to come up with a reasonable way of saying "no"

kyles14
  • 14th Dec 2007 12:10pm

I am a new mum (bubs is only 6 weeks old) so I don't do anything, yet or that I can remember, that mum did when I was that age.

But wanted to say:
If I do things that my mum used to then I am going to be a really good mum!!! My mum was/is a fantastic mum, always there for me when I was young and now. I can only hope that I can repeat some of the things she did.
And I think my mum did a pretty good job with me. I am employed, earning decent money but more importantly love my job, well-educated, have a wonderful husband, own my home (with mortgage), healthy and have a beautiful daughter.

So I hope I turn out to be just like my mum!!! One day I hope my baby says the same thing about me!!!

Anonymous
  • 14th Dec 2007 11:29am

I often cringe when I do something my mum did/said to us as kids, especially when my brothers pick up on it. But then I think to myself that my mum is the person I most admire and look up to and would it be so bad to be like her if my children feel the same way about me as I do about her?

bj
  • 30th Oct 2008 07:01am
I catch myself sounding like my Mum (using her sayings)... ... aaaah! Love her to bits but I guess you just don't want to sound like her.

Yep, lots of things rub off. Even the body shapes starts to look familuar.. Oh dear!!!

Anonymous
  • 14th Dec 2007 11:04am

I use my spit to wipe my childs cheek if its dirty. I call them by correct name if they are naughty.

juleski
  • 17th Dec 2010 09:25pm
I catch myself sounding like my Mum (using her sayings)... ... aaaah! Love her to bits but I guess you just don't want to sound like her.

LOL.. thats still one area where i dont replay what my parents did. I.. instead.. use their spit !! *here spit on this...*

Michelle
  • 23rd Nov 2007 11:25pm

Absolutely. I think that that is only natural. Although, there are certain things that I do that are completely different aswell. In fact, I think that in most cases, if my mum (in my opinion) was too soft on certain things, I over balance in the opposite direction. And vice versa. My mum is very soft, whereas I tend to be more 'iron fisted'. Although, times have changed too and this I believe adds to the environment our kids are in and how we handle different things.

Di
  • 22nd Nov 2007 10:54am

I was an adoptee into a very disfunctional family. I "lost" my adopted mother when she took to drugs when I was 9 years old. She didn't die she just was there in person but not in personality. I found m,y birth mother (after 9 years of searching) in 1988. When we met I was looking at an older version of myself physically. As time went on, I realised how unlike her in personality I was. She was a cold, calculating woman who showed no emotion toward my 2 natural brothers or myself. I guess I have been unlucky in the mother department myself, but I have 4 children who I always vowed I would not let suffer the lack of love and emotion I did. I would like to think that I have been a good mother, I love and care for all of them, my 7 grandchildren and 1 great grand child.
Di
Sandstone Point
22.11.07

sally
  • 13th Nov 2007 09:23pm

I know ...... I guess there is one consolation, and that is, that even though there were times when we thought we could never possibly be as horrible as our Mums were!!!! at least we know (well I do) that being desiplined didn't do us any real harm and that( even though we didn't know it at the time) it thought us lots of important things. I love my Mum even more since having children of my own and I have so much respect for her. Having said that I do always try to be as fair as possible to my children and Love them as much as I possibly can(most of the time) Being a Mum is a tough job and always try to keep in mind that Children Learn What They Live!

Anonymous
  • 12th Feb 2011 02:03pm
I know ...... I guess there is one consolation, and that is, that even though there were times when we thought we could never possibly be as horrible as our Mums were!!!! at least we know (well I...

You are dead right sally!!
When I was young, I never really knew my mother so I was brought up by my grandparents and boy do they have a lot of rules and regulations!!
My grandmother was such a strong lady, she took care of me night and day. But there would come a time where she would tell me off and do the "one hand on hip and the finger-wagging" move of hers and I didn't really like that....
Now you should see how professional MY "hand on hip and finger-wagging" move is at my daughter when she refuses to clean up her mess!! Everyone would point out how I've turned out to be just like my grandmother hahaha...all in all I guess you could say I was being a hypocrite!!
Being a parent today has shown me how much stress my grandparents had gone through with me when I was a little toddler..unfortunately my daughter is already turning into me and I've gone through a lot with her since day 1..!! But I still love her to bits..!

cat
  • 25th Nov 2010 01:15pm
I know ...... I guess there is one consolation, and that is, that even though there were times when we thought we could never possibly be as horrible as our Mums were!!!! at least we know (well I...

i used to call my mum wolf teeth when she was angry, she would be telling us kids off with gritted teeth. i look like my mum and according to my teenagers i too have the wolf look. i love my mum and believe she did a good job with us kids, i just hope my kids come out just as well as we did. you are so right sally !

navygirl
  • 12th Nov 2007 06:37pm

Yes, its funny how the more you want to be different the more you end up being the same. I remember my mum loosing it many a time and chasing us, only thing is she was smaller and did not run as fast as my brother and I did. We thought we were so smart!
Well times have changed and I find myself waddling after my boys and they run like rabbits... Best I get to the gym so I can shock them one day!

callie
  • 10th Nov 2007 11:48am

When I was a child I always said that I would let my kids jump on their beds if they wanted to. Im a mum now, and I realize why my mum wouldn't let me do it. But I also do the same as you. Call my children by their first, middle, and last name. That and the finger wagging at them when I am telling them off. Funny how it all ends up repeting in the next generation.

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