Environment

...feeling alone in a new land

Environment

Posted by: rosema

24th May 2011 11:46pm

Although I have lived here more than 50 years, I came to this Country not by my choosing ;I know what I am "homesick" for,does no longer exist, but emotionally I am in Nomansland !

Comments 13

s
  • 12th Oct 2014 04:48pm

All of us came to this country except the natives of course.
Some came by choice some did not like you but you cannot go back because it longer exists.
My suggestion is maybe go back near where you came from that may satisfy you.
Most of my family came here around 130 + years ago so we do not know another country and therefore cannot get homesick for it.
So maybe the generation after yours will not feel like you do.

Dora
  • 23rd Oct 2013 11:58am

I have been here less than 10 years & started to feel like Australia was my home by the second year itself. I love it. Now I feel like i have 2 homes.
So when I go to visit my parents "I am going home" but then on my return to Australia, "I am returning home"
I just love having 2 homes
I guess it might have something to do with the fact that I started traveling when I was less than 3 years old & have a traveling spirit where I love going to new places & making friends

Going out & meeting people helps. I have friends in UNi as well as church & at work. So never bored.

frannymanny
  • 24th Sep 2013 02:03pm

I am so sorry to hear of your unhappines.
My husband and his brother both came to Australia from Asia in the 1960s.
When my husband died in 2006 his funeral was filled to overflowing with Asians, Aussies, Europeans and heaps of people from his former workplace, the children's schools,our neighbours and the Rotary Club. The children's friends from school days came as well. He was very interested in people. He knew the postman and the fireman and the station master. He knew their names and how many children they had. He exchanged gardening tips and sought advice from them. He did'nt care where they came from. He was just interested.
In his will he was very clear that he wanted to be buried in Australia ,even if he died on an overseas trip to see family.
My husband's brother was always homesick. He never ceased complaining about the shortcomings of Australia and Australians.He tries to spend as much time as possible overseas but his children live here and his wife is not at all homesick. She took out Australian Citizenship although he did not.
He cannot be happy in Australia.
At my husband's funeral my brother-in law said that most of the people present must have been my friends because they were not Asian.The truth is that I did not even know a lot of them. They were people he met when he was going for a walk, travelling to work or striking up a conversation wherever he happened to be. I don't think it would have occurred to my brother -in law to do such a thing. He just didn't know how well-loved my husband was.
Both men had very strong accents which they never lost but my husband kept trying to communicate while my brother-in law avoided conversations with people who could not understand him.
I do understand that people have different personalities and yet I am so sorry that my brother-in law has not been able to embrace anything about Australia .
His children respect him as their father but they have a good life and he has misery . They cannot understand why.
I think perhaps he has never tried to find reasons to be happy here. He would say there are none but my husband did'nt give any thought to reasons to be unhappy.
Perhaps that is the difference between them.

simla
  • 1st Apr 2013 09:52am

Hi rosema, a couple of things that occurred to me is that you may have been treated as "an alien" in the time of your arrival.
Those days, 50 years ago, the 60's? we as a nation, were very narrow-minded ,and some still are, really unaccepting of 'New Australians'. Your accent would immediately have identified you as 'different'.
In Australia, The White Australia Policy is, and has been responsible for much inequality and discrimination. It has had the effect of creating the feelings of which you describe.
I can remember, in the early 60's my parents had the attitude that Aborigines, Dark skinned races and most Foreigners, if not all, were inferior and we kids were not allowed to openly associate with them, or have as friends. The thinking was that it would lower the tone of the families 'Status'. My father was a professional, and although a kind and tolerant nature, felt with my mother, it was 'for the best' if we avoided the issue for the families reputation. They thought as this was the way most people behaved, it was acceptable.
I had a friend whose mother was in a mental home. When my parents found out, she was no longer welcome at our house. I was told not to associate with her. We had to meet secretly. Later a lady from a church group convinced my mum that it was not Christian to behave so, and I was again allowed to bring her home.
Such attitudes MUST have had a subconscious negative affect on many people.
Thank goodness those attitudes are dying out as the population that formed those narrow ideals is passing away.
The New Age of Aquarius is about love and understanding, as the song goes. That's the hope for the future.
I'm sorry that you had to endure the negative effects of ignorant ideologies that were a part of our recent past.

simla
  • 1st Apr 2013 09:50am

Hi rosema, a couple of things that occurred to me is that you may have been treated as "an alien" in the time of your arrival.
Those days, 50 years ago, the 60's? we as a nation, were very narrow-minded ,and some still are, really unaccepting of 'New Australians'. Your accent would immediately have identified you as 'different'.
In Australia, The White Australia Policy is, and has been responsible for much inequality and discrimination. It has had the effect of creating the feelings of which you describe.
I can remember, in the early 60's my parents had the attitude that Aborigines, Dark skinned races and most Foreigners, if not all, were inferior and we kids were not allowed to openly associate with them, or have as friends. The thinking was that it would lower the tone of the families 'Status'. My father was a professional, and although a kind and tolerant nature, felt with my mother, it was 'for the best' if we avoided the issue for the families reputation. They thought as this was the way most people behaved, it was acceptable.
I had a friend whose mother was in a mental home. When my parents found out, she was no longer welcome at our house. I was told not to associate with her. We had to meet secretly. Later a lady from a church group convinced my mum that it was not Christian to behave so, and I was again allowed to bring her home.
Such attitudes MUST have had a subconscious negative affect on many people.
Thank goodness those attitudes are dying out as the population that formed those narrow ideals is passing away.
The New Age of Aquarius is about love and understanding, as the song goes. That's the hope for the future.
I'm sorry that you had to endure the negative effects of ignorant ideologies that were a part of our recent past.

simla
  • 1st Apr 2013 09:46am

Hi rosema, a couple of things that occurred to me is that you may have been treated as "an alien" in the time of your arrival.
Those days, 50 years ago, the 60's? we as a nation, were very narrow-minded ,and some still are, really unaccepting of 'New Australians'. Your accent would immediately have identified you as 'different'.
In Australia, The White Australia Policy is, and has been responsible for much inequality and discrimination. It has had the effect of creating the feelings of which you describe.
I can remember, in the early 60's my parents had the attitude that Aborigines, Dark skinned races and most Foreigners, if not all, were inferior and we kids were not allowed to openly associate with them, or have as friends. The thinking was that it would lower the tone of the families 'Status'. My father was a professional, and although a kind and tolerant nature, felt with my mother, it was 'for the best' if we avoided the issue for the families reputation. They thought as this was the way most people behaved, it was acceptable.
I had a friend whose mother was in va mental home. When my parents found out, she was nolonger welcome at our house. I was told mot to sccociate with her. We had to meet secretly. Later a lady from a church group convinced my mum that it was not Christian to behave so, and I was again allowed to bring her home.
Such attitudes MUST have had a subconscious negative affect on many people.
Thank goodness those attitudes are dying out as the population that formed those narrow ideals is passing away.
The New Age of Aquarius is about love and understanding, as the song goes. That's the hope for the future.
I'm sorry that you had to endure the negative effects of ignorant ideologies that were a part of our recent past.

Rose
  • 15th Sep 2011 04:08pm

I have lived here all my life but would love to have another country to belong to , as an Australian you are not recignized for anything special by this Govement.

NSWMoke
  • 21st Aug 2011 04:58pm

It's only been 11 years in Australia from Honolulu. Even with a few trips back & forth, hither & yon [Perth, Gee long & Gold Coast & even Las Vegas], Honolulu is a tough act to follow! Born in the US Midwest [Chicago], travelling throughout 6 years in Europe, a 3 year stint in Texas and Washington State for 18 months, it's the 23 years in Honolulu that really makes us think of Alohaland Waikiki as 'home'! Yes, emotionally and geographically, technologically & actually, we ARE in Nomansland! You are not alone!

Bellxchat
  • 18th Aug 2011 10:52am

What a shame you are feeling this way. I've lived in Australia for just over 50 years now (came out as a very young child when my parents emigrated from Europe) and feel very much at home here. A trip "home" in my late teens was a wonderful experience: it showed me where I'd come from, but more importantly, it made me realise that Australia was now "home". Maybe if you could make a trip back to your "homeland" you might also discover that Australia is now your home, and find some peace of mind. Failing that, just keep focused on what's good about living here and be grateful for all that you have: with practise the contentment and happiness will follow.

Bellxchat
  • 21st Aug 2011 08:54am
Dear Bellxchat ,...am I correct in assuming, that you are a female Being ; your thought process seem to be similar to mine (lovely and wonderful anyway)
you know ,I do believe I could live in...

Greetings Rosema! Yes, I'm a woman, and thank you for your kind and lovely words. Trust your weekend is relaxing, and all you would like it to be.

rosema
  • 20th Aug 2011 03:35pm
Thank you for your reply, and thank you for filling me in on some of the details of your circumstances. Yes, I imagine it would be quite different to come here as a child, as opposed to as an...

Dear Bellxchat ,...am I correct in assuming, that you are a female Being ; your thought process seem to be similar to mine (lovely and wonderful anyway)
you know ,I do believe I could live in and appreciate many different Countries now that I have made the initial move .
....still at work ,but going home shortly but before I switch off this Computer
I'd like to wish you a very pleasant, happy weekend ! Rose T.

Bellxchat
  • 19th Aug 2011 02:25pm
...thank you very much for your replay and suggestions Bellxchat ; I would like to tell you, unlike you , one month after arriving here ,I celebrated my 21st Birthday;
and I have returned to...

Thank you for your reply, and thank you for filling me in on some of the details of your circumstances. Yes, I imagine it would be quite different to come here as a child, as opposed to as an adult: the roots are that much stronger, naturally. Yes, we are all Citizens of Australia (hard-working, indeed! you got that right), and we can be citizens of the world, and citizens of our homelands too. Just as we can love many people all at the same time - parents, friends, children, partners - we can love more than one place. There's always room in the heart for more love.

rosema
  • 19th Aug 2011 10:33am
What a shame you are feeling this way. I've lived in Australia for just over 50 years now (came out as a very young child when my parents emigrated from Europe) and feel very much at home here. A...

...thank you very much for your replay and suggestions Bellxchat ; I would like to tell you, unlike you , one month after arriving here ,I celebrated my 21st Birthday;
and I have returned to my homeland, on quite a few occasions; I have reared my two daughters here and also have completed my own schooling here in Australia, yes I do appreciate this country and what it has offered to me and my family here;
I also have heard from many other People ,who have come here as Adults and listened to them telling me ,that the do have similar feelings as I do,our primary "roots " where and are ,where we came from , but we all became hard-working Citizen of Australia ! Greetings Rosemarie T.

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