Posted by: Charley
Posted on: 16th Feb 2011
I totally empathise with parents that don't have contact with their child/ren due to the other parent using the child/ren as a 'weapon', 'bargaining tool', 'reward' etc etc.
I have two children by two guys. I always allowed and indeed incouraged contact with both guys - and still do now even though our kids are older. When they were younger I would ask the kids to phone their fathers on their Dad's birthdays, Christmas etc.
My stance is that the problems of adults should NEVER become the problems of the children!
Unfortunately there are, dare I say it 'adults' that have never grown up and when things crumble in their relationships they become bitter and start venting to the kids to poison their minds. It's abhorrent.
All I can suggest (if you can't contact the children) is write letters to them and keep them for when you do make contact. Open a bank account for them and deposit money into it. Whatever you can afford. The amount doesn't matter. It's the thought behind it. Hopefully when they grow up they will want to find you and you can tell and show them just how much you cared and how much they meant to you. It won't be just words either. They will be able to read your letters and you can present them with their bank book confirming to them you took the time to show your love.
There are avenues to contact children but that's a whole other novel that I could write! :)